A topic that I am drawn to for a while now is femininity. What does it truly mean to be a woman? For me this feels like the search of my life. In my childhood I grew up with a mother, and with grandmothers, but now I see that, despite how well they took care of me, I did not learn from them te be a woman. They grew up in a harsh environment, learnt how to work hard, to survive and to buckle up for life. This is also what I learned to do. Maybe, when I work harder and let the world see that I am capable, I will be seen and loved. Well, it did not work that way.
When I became a mom first I was terrified. I really thought I wasn’t capable of raising a child. How on earth could I know what to do? Then I buckled up. And I helped myself with thoughts like: “Of course I can raise a child, I am full of love and caring. I can do this!” And I can. I love my children fiercely. But, I realise more and more that the type of caring I give them is more from doing and taking care, then from just being me. In a course I did I heard that the place we mother from is more from our masculine energy then our feminine. That was an eyeopener for me. I really did not know this and could feel the deep truth of it. Realising this, the question rose what to shift in myself or to open up to in order to be truly the woman I am.
The channeled message I got from mother Mary about femininity is:
‘Being a woman, being feminine, is being your authentic self. Feeling in your core what your desires are and living up to them. It is not about hard work, or being a mom and a wife, it is about being. Being joyful, loving, caring. Putting yourself first, before all else. Because, when you take really good care of yourself and you feel fulfilled, then from that place you can give to others. Not because you have to or feel obliged, but because you want to. Because it is in your nature to give, and to receive.’
Okay, feeling in my core what my desires are and just be. It sounds so simple, but I have learned this is not. My core, my womb, is a part of my body I just started to deepen the connection with. Because of the trauma in my childhood, being here on earth, being in my body didn’t feel safe. Not having the example of feeling and expressing emotions is a journey on its own. One that I am glad to take, because feeling all is so connecting me with me and with the people around me and with the planet we live on.
In the coming stories I will take you with me on this journey. The search and becoming a true woman. It is possible that you recognize some of yourself in my story. Know that you are not alone. There are so many women across the globe who face the same difficulties. We need each other! it is time to connect and heal the wounds we all have together to become the truly magnificent women we are!
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